After Eldrick Woods won the Masters this past weekend, President Trump announced that he will be presenting Eldrick with a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Eldrick is a very worthy recipient of this award. Very few would have the perseverance, resilience, and determination to overcome the demons and obstacles he has faced the last several years. With Eldrick receiving this award, it begs the question: Who else will President Trump award with a Presidential Medal of Freedom? Let’s evaluate the worthy candidates:
Rick Hodes
‘In 1984 Dr. Rick Hodes went to Ethiopia to do relief work during the famine. He originally planned on working there for one year, but after realizing the African people’s extreme needs and knowing that he was uniquely qualified to help them, he stayed. After almost three decades, he still practices at hospitals in Addis Ababa and Gondor. He has served tens of thousands of people through immunization, family planning, community health, nutritional support and his specialist field—spine deformities. He was also partly responsible in ensuring the safe immigration of 14,000 Ethiopians via a historic airlift to Israel in 48 hours. His greatest passion however, remains to volunteer at Mother Teresa’s Mission for the Destitute and Dying where he cares for critically ill children that others have abandoned. During his time in Ethiopia he has adopted five children and he also supports and houses another fifteen whom he sees as part of his extended family.’¹ Hodes is also really Jewish which is awesome. Jews are really successful and really smart.
Lil Pump
A scientific prodigy, Lil Pump has been a world renowned botanist since he was only 13 years old. However, as the old adage goes: “With every blessing is a curse.” Pump was well on his way to being the youngest ever graduate of Harvard Medical School when he was placed with the burdensome choice that no man should ever bear the responsibility of making. Would he continue to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a doctor, or would he save the genre of Rap from literally dying? Ultimately, this beautiful, selfless man made the altruistic decision to drop out of Harvard and make the world a better place. Since dropping out he has effectively saved Rap and taken it to heights never-before imagined. Pump is not only deserving of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, he is also deserving of a Pulitzer Prize for his beautiful ballad titled: “Be Like Me”
Everybody wanna be like Pump
Everybody got fake dreads and love to take drugs
I do this, bitch you do whatever you want
Yes, I’m hella ignorant, I don’t give a fuck
And everybody wanna be like Ye
Everybody wanna go and smash Kim K
You can talk shit about me everyday
But I’m still rich at the end of the day
I take drugs like it’s vitamin C
I’m a millionaire, but I don’t know how to read
I’m a role model that these kids wanna be
I just smashed a pregnant bitch that’s overseas
Walk around with my side bitch on a leash
I was 13 when I started sippin’ lean
Ballin’ so hard, I feel like I’m KD
Wear two bust downs, even when I sleep
Declan O’Brien
Declan O’Brien is an American writer and director. In 2010, he blessed us with the quintessential cinematic masterpiece: Sharktopus. I do not want to spoil this movie for the minuscule portion of readers out there who may have never seen it. But if you’re unconvinced that he deserves a Presidential Medal of Freedom just watch this clip that the Oscar’s put together when he was nominated:
Eric Nerhus
This man was scuba diving one day when all of the sudden everything instantly went dark and he felt an aggressive amount of pain in his head and neck. At first he thought that perhaps Khloe Kardashian had sat on his face, so he began aggressively punching the abhorrent beast with his one free arm to try and pry himself free. Eventually the beast let him go and he swam to shore where they immediately rushed him to the hospital. It turns out that the beast was not Khloe Kardashian, and was actually a 10 foot-long great white shark. Another scuba diver actually got a photo of the encounter.
While Eric Nerhus should receive a Presidential Medal of Honor for being a badass and displaying the epitome of resilience, the diver that took this photo should be castrated for being an asshole and not helping out. I would understand if he got scared and swam away, but this jackass just pulled out his camera and snapped a picture of a guy he thought was being eaten alive. No idea who the photographer was but I hope he has AIDS now.
Michael Obama
Michael Obama was the first transgender to serve as the First “Lady” of the United States. It was always deemed very controversial that he was never given a Presidential Medal of Freedom by his husband, Barrack. Barrack preferred instead to praise Caitlin Jenner for his “heroic bravery.” It would be a very courteous gesture for President Trump to recognize Michael for his “bravery.”
Sources:
¹http://listverse.com
http://www.badassoftheweek.com
Pardon My French 